I was thinking about all of the purchases I was wanting to make today if I had more cash.
Here’s the *short* list:
- Super 8 Video Camera
- New backpack for travel
- Videography lessons from Seth
- Everything from John Elliot
- Plane ticket to Copenhagen
- Portable DJ speakers
- Build of my personal website rebrand/revamp
- Business Coaching (launching + sales)
- Pro-active Doctor appointments / personal health research (23&me etc.)
When I look at this list, it got me thinking about the “why” behind these purchases. And you know what? I don’t feel bad about spending money on any of these things. Every item on here is a direct improvement of my life, rather than an empty purchase.
I believe these are healthy purchases. Every item, to me, is a type of positive investment in myself. And I’ll make those purchases every time.
Whether it’s how we use social media, how we act in our relationships, how we work, or how we spend money, everything is in the approach.
We can have a “healthy-why” or an “unhealthy-why.”
Unhealthy: You can take the approach trying to get something, trying to force something, trying to feel validation or fill a hole, grasp at something to make you feel less uncertain, more loved, or to take control of a situation.
Unhealthy Example: You get home from work, you’re stressed about your latest project. That date you went on, you still haven’t heard back from. So, you open Instagram. Subconsciously you think, “Maybe they’ll see this post.” — so you snap a selfie, post it, and refresh your feed every 10 seconds to watch the likes roll in, but mainly you’re hoping to see that one in particular…
Healthy: You can take the approach of trying to give, trying to make yourself better and healthier. You can approach things without needing them. You can approach things without trying to continuously grasp for them.
Healthy Example: You get home from work, it was a stressful day but you decide to read to disconnect. While reading, you suddenly feel inspired, and decide to publish a bunch of new thoughts that were sparked to your Twitter or Medium. It felt energizing to think and share about these ideas, and you put down your laptop and go cook dinner. When you return to your laptop you see you got a bunch of likes + retweets, but it feels like a bonus to a feeling you already have.
The thing is, people can tell when you’re doing things to get something in return. People can tell which approach you’re taking, healthy or unhealthy.
It’s almost like a weird energy that runs alongside whatever signals you’re putting out.
Have you ever felt examples of this before? When you’re feeling like you’re in a really good place, and all of your communication is received positively? Doors are opening and things are going well, but nothing is forced?
It’s a paradox, the less you grasp, when things don’t *need* to happen for you to feel great, they tend to.
Things just go better when you take the healthy approach.