Everything I Learn, I Learn The Hard Way
Everything was in a quarter inch of water when I woke up. My tent had a rain fly on top but when water is coming from the ground up there’s really not much you can do. Frantically I gathered my things and taking down the tent, stakes, and rolling it up as the rain kept pouring.
There were wet pine needles stuck to everything I owned. I dumped my food out into the trunk to make room for everything else to fit into plastic bags.
Defeated, soaked, and cold, I got into my parked car and turned on the heat.
I started to laugh, like stupid, maniacal laugh.
“What the Fuck am I doing?” I laughed again.
And then, “What the fuck am I doing..” quieter and much more concerned with myself.
“What am I doing out here thinking I could travel and get away when I have so much work do to back home? Am I naive? Surely successful people have never felt this way…”
My inner GPS just felt completely off. Ever have that sudden feeling of being completely unsure of the decisions you’ve been making that have lead you to this point?
We like things to be in a straight line of growth but each mistake can drive us off the path and into a ditch.
But mistakes happen, relapses happen, feeling lost happens. Our negative mind chatter speaks up especially loud during a storm.
What’s important is how quickly we recover and come to our senses to start again and get back on the path to forward.
I crawled through to the back and changed in the seat, struggling about to get the wet clothing to unstick from my skin.
Then I passed out. Just like that.
In an awkward position in the back seat at 8:00 A.M. mid-storm somewhere in a Sate Park of Michigan.
And then I woke up.
I started my day, picked up a quick breakfast from a diner, and began to drive South. I was moving forward again in a direction.
Honestly I can’t remember a single thing that happened the rest of that day. I think our brains selectively forget when things like this happen.
I should have kept a journal.
I would have more details for you had I just kept a journal.
Anyways, everything I learn, I learn the hard way.