What I was like when I was 6
I was a monster.
From ages 3-6, I was constantly angry.
I'm not kidding just ask my family. They put a lock on the OUTSIDE of my bedroom door. My mom worried that I'd grow up and be something terrible. I would kick and scream and express my anger to anyone within ear shot. Plus I had rage strength. Super human six year old rage strength.
Then something just clicked off in my brain at age 7 and I completely changed into the (mostly) relaxed person I am today.
I wonder what it would be like if I had to take care of 6 year old me today?
What if you were able to meet yourself, but at every year of your life? from 0-80?
Host a class reunion with me at every age. The 30 year old David's standing in the corner talking politics, the 8-12 year old David's racing around and eating snacks, Middle School David's being awkward, 50 year old David looking on, understanding and observant...
Add a disco ball and punch for extra effect.
Would we even have anything to talk about? Would we relate?
I feel like 80 year old me would HATE 16 year old me. year old me.
Now, every so often, I feel my inner 6 year old knock on the door again.
I get like him when I start to care too much. Frustration, or if we're being nice we'll call it "passion," fuels my anger.
I get mad with "passion."
But I wouldn't dare share that.
I learned how to fight the 6 year old me from taking over. The trick is to force myself to be kind and grateful and empathetic. Forcing yourself to do things you don't want to do I've found is a good tactic.
If I'm angry, frustrated or stressed, here's how I fight it:
I'll send double the kind emails. I'll donate to charity. I offer help and keep from doing things that are selfish. I open doors. I'll put on a smile and only offer words of support, even if my brain is screaming the opposite.
I'll force down a salad. 6 year olds HATE salad.
If I don't do this, I start to go in a tailspin until I'm dizzy. Being dizzy keeps me from seeing straight.
I need to grab onto something stable and right the world. These acts keep me grounded.
I think I just realized why I was mad when I was young. A 6 year old is selfish. He can't understand gratitude, abundance, empathy. He (me) reacts to anger instead of fighting it like the toxin it is.